I had a thought about parenting this week. It was an overwhelming sense of, "I don’t know how to do this; I’ve never done it before."
Admitting you aren't sure of the answer can feel scary. You don’t want to give bad advice, make a wrong turn, or say something that causes harm. But truthfully, none of us have done this before. It really is trial and error. We make our best guess, hope for the right outcome, and then reflect on whether it worked. Sometimes we are forced to make decisions for our families that we just aren't sure of.
It reminded me of what I tell parents in my classes: we want our kids to have grit. We want them to be brave, to put themselves out there, and to know that if they fail, we’ll be there for them. Parenting is much the same. We try, we learn, we apologize, and we try again. We lean on our "village" of family and friends to help us through the hard times and brainstorm the best path forward.
I’ve also realized that when it comes to our kids, giving advice isn’t always the answer. If that advice goes wrong, we often take the blame. But if we guide instead—if we listen, support, and help them make their own choices—we get to stay beside them. We become the safety net that catches them when they fall, rather than the person they blame for the stumble.
In the end, what matters most is the love we have for them, our intention to guide them well, and the grace we extend to ourselves when we realize we’re still learning, too.